In Memory of Sou
Roissy Memorial ~ April 25, 2015
Welcome family and friends,
It is very sad that we are gathered here, to honor one of our own who lost a courageous battle with cancer. Those of you who had the opportunity to know Sou, will join me in saying what a sweet person she was, always wearing a smile, always willing to help.
We will miss Sou. We will never forget her.
I now turn the floor over to Kurt.
Thank you all for coming.
René
Thank you Rene and thank you all for being here.
We are here today at this memorial edition of Story Time to remember and say good bye to Sou. She was not here at VdO long, many of you might not have known her but those who met her were touched by her love of life, her sense of humor and her compassion for others. She was a regular at story time when she could make it so we thought it fitting to give her her own story time.
She passed away a week ago Friday preparing for another surgery for a cancerous tumor in her brain from what I understand. She had a dear friend be sure that we were informed about her passing and we are grateful to Sonia for doing that.
I'm going to read something that I had found as I took a break from story time and I was planning on using it when I got back into Story Time again the middle of May but it seems fitting to read it now.
It is the obituary written by Emily Phillips, for herself, as she was dieing of cancer. I think it, particularly the end, is how Sou felt. I hope I can get through it.
It pains me to admit it, but apparently, I have passed away. Everyone told me it would happen one day but that's simply not something I wanted to hear, much less experience. Once again I didn't get things my way! That's been the story of my life all my life.
And while on that subject (the story of my life)…on February 9, 1946 my parents and older sister celebrated my birth and I was introduced to all as Emily DeBrayda Fisher, the daughter of Clyde and Mary Fisher from Hazelwood. I can't believe that happened in the first half of the last century but there are records on file in the Court House which can corroborate this claim. Just two years later when another baby girl was born, I became known as the middle sister of the infamous three Fisher Girls, and the world was changed forever.
As a child I walked to the old Hazelwood Elementary School where teachers like Mrs. McCracken, Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Moody planted the seed that eventually led me to becoming a teacher. I proudly started my teaching career at that same elementary school in January 1968, and from there I went on to teach young children in the neighboring states of Virginia, Georgia, as well as Florida where I retired after 25 years.
So many things in my life seemed of little significance at the time they happened but then took on a greater importance as I got older. The memories I'm taking with me now are so precious and have more value than all the gold and silver in my jewelry box.
Memories…where do I begin? Well, I remember Mother wearing an apron; I remember Daddy calling Square Dances; I remember my older sister pushing me off my tricycle (on the cinder driveway); I remember my younger sister sleep walking out of the house; I remember grandmother Nonnie who sewed exquisite dresses for me when I was little; I remember grandmother Mamateate wringing a chicken's neck so we could have Sunday dinner.
I remember being the bride in our Tom Thumb Wedding in first grade and performing skits for the 4-H Club later in grade five. I remember cutting small rosebuds still wet with dew to wear to school on spring mornings, and I remember the smell of newly mowed grass.
I remember the thrill of leading our high school band down King Street in New Orleans for Mardi Gras (I was head majorette). I remember representing Waynesville in the Miss North Carolina Pageant, and yes, I twirled my baton to the tune of ""Dixie"". It could have been no other way.
I married the man of my dreams (tall, dark, and handsome) on December 16, 1967 and from that day on I was proud to be Mrs. Charlie Phillips, Grand Diva Of All Things Domestic. Our plan was to have two children, a girl and a boy. Inexplicably we were successful in doing exactly that when we were blessed with our daughter Bonnie and then later our son Scott. Seeing these two grow into who they were supposed to be brought a wonderful sense of meaning to our lives.
This might be a good time to mend fences.
I apologize for making sweet Bonnie wear No Frills jeans when she was little and for ""red-shirting"" Scott in kindergarten. Apparently each of these things was humiliating to them but both were able to rise above their shame and become very successful adults. I'd also like to apologize to Mary Ann for tearing up her paper dolls and to Betsy for my dating a guy she had a crush on.
Just when I thought I was too old to fall in love again, I became a grandmother, and my five grand-angels stole not only my heart, but also spent most of my money.
Sydney Elizabeth, Jacob McKay, and Emma Grace (all Uprights) have enriched my life more than words can say. Sydney's ""one more, no more"" when she asked for a cookie; Jake saying he was ""sick as a cat"" when I'd said that someone else was sick as a dog; and Emma cutting her beautiful long hair and then proceeding to shave off one of her eyebrows…Yes, these are a few of my favorite things. They're treasures that are irreplaceable and will go with me wherever my journey takes me.
I've always maintained that my greatest treasures call me Nana. That's not exactly true. You see, the youngest of my grand-angels, William Fisher Phillips and Charlie Jackson Phillips call me ""Nana Banana"". (Thank you Chris and Scott for having such spunky children.) These two are also apt to insist that I ""get their hiney"" whenever I visit, and since I'm quite skilled in that area , I've always been able to oblige. (I actually hold the World's Record for ""Hiney Getting,"" a title that I wear with pride.)
Speaking of titles…I've held a few in my day. I've been a devoted daughter, an energetic teenager, a WCU graduate (summa cum laude), a loving wife, a comforting mother, a dedicated teacher, a true and loyal friend, and a spoiling grandmother. And if you don't believe it, just ask me. Oh wait, I'm afraid it's too late for questions. Sorry.
So…I was born; I blinked; and it was over. No buildings named after me; no monuments erected in my honor.
But I DID have the chance to know and love each and every friend as well as all my family members. How much more blessed can a person be?
So in the end, remember…do your best, follow your arrow, and make something amazing out of your life. Oh, and never stop smiling.
If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or amongst the flitting and fluttering butterflies. You know I'll be there in one form or another. Of course that will probably comfort some while antagonizing others, but you know me…it's what I do.
I'll leave you with this…please don't cry because I'm gone; instead be happy that I was here. (Or maybe you can cry a little bit. After all, I have passed away).
Today I am happy and I am dancing. Probably naked.
Love you forever.
- Emily
One of my favorite plays is Our Town by Thornton Wilder. It is about life and living and loving and dieing. It speaks to our tendency to go through life without really living, to see things without really seeing, to love without really loving. Here are a few quotes.
“Wherever you come near the human race there’s layers and layers of nonsense.”
“Only it seems to me that once in your life before you die you ought to see a country where they don't talk in English and don't even want to.”
“Let's really look at one another!...It goes so fast. We don't have time to look at one another. I didn't realize. So all that was going on and we never noticed... Wait! One more look. Good-bye , Good-bye world. Good-bye, Grover's Corners....Mama and Papa. Good-bye to clocks ticking....and Mama's sunflowers.
And food and coffee. And new ironed dresses and hot baths....and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth,you are too wonderful for anybody to realize you. Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every,every minute? (Emily)”
STAGE MANAGER: "No. Saints and poets maybe...they do some.”
“Yes, now you know. Now you know! That's what it was to be alive. To move about in a cloud of ignorance; to go up and down trampling on the feelings of those...of those about you. To spend and waste time as though you had a million years. To be always at the mercy of one self-centered passion, or another. Now you know — that's the happy existence you wanted to go back to. Ignorance and blindness.”
“I want you to try and remember what it was like to have been very young.
And particularly the days when you were first in love; when you were like a person sleepwalking, and you didn’t quite see the street you were in, and didn’t quite hear everything that was said to you.
You’re just a little bit crazy. Will you remember that, please?”
Sou helped me realize that life is a precious gift, that we all have troubles and difficulties but we can live life to the fullest it allows and if we think of others and help others be happy, or help them in their time of need, we can forget our troubles and find true joy. I will miss you Sou but I'll try not to forget the things you showed me about life and living.
------------------------------------------Kurt™
If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk
Of me as if I were beside you there,
(I'd come... I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or see a bird I loved,
Please do not let the thought of me be sad...
For I am loving you just as I always have...
You were so good to me!
There are so many things I wanted still to do...
So many things to say to you...
Remember that I did not fear...
It was just leaving you that was so hard to face...
We cannot see Beyond... But this I know;
I loved you so...
'Twas heaven here with you!
~ Isla Paschal Richardson
------------------------------------------annie BlueSky
Death is nothing,
I only spent in the next room.
I am me. You are you.
What I was for you, I still am.
Give me the name you have always given me,
Speak to me as you have always done.
Do not use a different tone, do not take a solemn or sad.
Continue to laugh at what made us laugh together.
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.
My name to be pronounced at home
as it has always been,
without emphasis of any kind,
without a shadow trace.
Life means all that it ever was.
The thread is not cut.
Why should I be out of your thoughts,
simply because I am out of sight?
I'm not far, just on the other side of the road.
You see, all is well.
------------------------------------------ MayOfLuna
In memory of Demoiselle Sou:
i had not known her long before she wasnt here much and we were on different time zones .. i remember her as being a flirtatious and witty girl and was quite eager to become a Demoiselle . i do remember her initiation and how happy she achieved that part of her path and how happy she was for the pictures and script i sent to her .. but then i suppose her health really became an issue as i didnt see her and if i may share these sentiments from Sir JB as he shared that she had passed with me: "I had met her and knew here only slightly, but she was very nice. To her memory she did not bring her illness into her life here and lived among us well "
May the angels keep you safe ...
------------------------------------------ Xandu
I did not know Sou, I'm sorry for her loss. I do believe that she is here with all of you who knew and loved her. Maybe you will see pieces of her in others you meet along your journey here, a word, a phrase, something simple that will happen to remind you of her. That is her letting you know she is here with you. When I lost my dear friend a few years ago, I mourn even now at times, someone will say something that will remind me, or a song I hear will bring him to mind. It is in those moments I know he is still with me, and I find comfort in this because I know that one day I will see him again. I pray for comfort during this time.
------------------------------------------ Grace
Sou was very proud of her heritage, she shared with me her favorite recipes for cheese fondue, her favorite food. She spoke of where she was raised, a town in Switzerland, officially bilingual, where French and German were the predominant languages. She spoke a bit of her family, her struggle with her illness but always hopeful and positive, her glass was overflowing. a joyful soul. I feel fortunate to have known her.
------------------------------------------ Lisbeth
I hadn't known that Sou was ill, and remember her as lively, good-spirited, with a fine sense of humor and vibrant with life. I'm glad that I can remember her that way, and am sorry that she can no longer be with us. She will be missed, and may she rest in peace.
------------------------------------------ Carey
I didn't know Sou very well but spoke to her every now and then, rest in peace Sou, I will think of her often.
--------------------------- Gillian Darkwatch
The last time we were together was in a build she and julie and wendi were working on, I was supervising. Well, actually cuddling on a pillow with Sou. And she said she might call a red because i had my arm through her boob, but with Sou, they were hard to avoid.
-----------------------------------------Kurt™
Kurt™: Vette....
Marcus BlueSky raises my hand
Vette™: Thank you Maitre Kurt
Vette™: We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife.
Kurt™: okay Marcus, Taylor and Rene will be our last speakers. so Vette and Marcus and any others.
Vette™: waits
Marcus BlueSky: vette please continue
Kurt™: sorry please go ahead Vette
Vette™: thank you
Vette™: We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife
Vette™: But that man or woman who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him?
Vette™: Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.
Vette™: I last spoke with Sou on March 20th, she and I had a nice conversation and she vowed to return.
Vette™: She loved her home here and loved the famille she had met.
Vette™: Sou, you will always remain in my thoughts.
Vette™: Thank you each for you support today
Vette™: #
Kurt™: Beautiful, thank you
-----------------------------------------Vette™
A wise man once said....
"When you came into this world, everyone smiled and you cried. You should so live your life that when you leave this world, everyone cries and you are smiling"
I believe sou lived her life that way.
May she receive our heartfelt warmth, love and encouragement.
Bless you dear Sou.
------------------------------ Marcus BlueSky
I wrote this sitting here listening to everyone.
I don't want to sound presumptuous, but I feel wendi and I probably were closest to her. I want to say this off the cuff and not prepared so it comes out as true. And, I want you to realize I have had my cry and have moved on to happy thoughts. There are memories of her that I will selfishly keep tucked in my head to keep as my own..........They are mine and I will cling to them." Takes a deep breath, " Sou would come to Story Time often, well whenever me and Kurt would get together, levity surly follows, We used to let her sit and then make her move just so we could watch her boobs jiggle. She took it all in stride. She was so fun.
Also, she did teach me that it would not kill you to say the words, "I love you."
-------------------------------------Taylor Smitty
It is with great honor to be among famille and friends, but yet sadness dwells with us today as we pull together to show our love and support of the remembrance of Sou.
I thank each of you for supporting and [joining] together.
It is famille that you that make this world a joy for many that can not get out due to many different reasons. I thank you each again for touching Sou the way she touched many of us.
I would like to share a short poem :
A telling analogy for life and death:
Compare the two of them to water and ice.
Water draws together to become ice,
And ice disperses again to become water.
Whatever has died is sure to be born again
Whatever is born comes around again to dying.
As ice and water do one another no harm,
So life and death, the two of them, are fine.
Sou, you will be missed, may you rest in peace, until we all meet again.
Please all "turn" on stream and remain silent as the bells ring for the loss of our Sou.
Amen.
------------------------------------------René
"In memory of Sou"
Juliette Surrealdreaming
Roissy Journaliste
